I’m starting a new series of posts today on Between the Paws. “100 Pop Songs Every Catholic Should Hear.” I’ll save the “rules” for how I’m choosing these songs for another post. For now, let’s get started!
What Other People Say
Demi Lovato (With Sam Fischer)Thought when I grew up
I would be the same as the ones who gave me my last name
I would not give in, I would not partake
In the same old drugs everyone else takesI’m better than that, I’m better than that
I’m living my life so I go to heaven and never come back
But look where I’m at, look where I’m at
I’m living the life that I said I wouldn’t, I wanna go backI used to call my mom every Sunday
So she knew her love wasn’t far away
But now I’m all messed up out in LA
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
I used to not take chances with God’s name
But it’s been so long since I last prayed
And now I’m all messed up and my heart’s changed
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
‘Cause I care more about what other people sayI wish I could shelter the boy I knew
From the constant hell I put him through
‘Cause I’m all grown up and I’m black and blue
I could use some tape, I could use some glueI’m better than that, I’m better than that
I should be living my life so I go to heaven and never come backI used to call my mom every Sunday
So she knew her love wasn’t far away
But now I’m all messed up out in LA
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
I used to not take chances with God’s name
But it’s been so long since I last prayed
And now I’m all messed up and my heart’s changed
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
Yeah, yeah, yeah
‘Cause I care more about what other people sayThought when I grew up
I would be the same as the ones who gave me my last nameI used to call my mom every Sunday
So she knew her love wasn’t far away (far away)
But now I’m all messed up out in LA (out in LA)
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
I used to not take chances with God’s name (God’s name)
But it’s been so long since I last prayed (since I last prayed)
And now I’m all messed up and my heart’s changed (and my heart changed)
‘Cause I care more about what other people say (what other people say)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (yeah, yeah, no, no)
‘Cause I care more about what other people say
There may be a more brutal song about the cost of sin, but if there is, I’m not sure it would be bearable.
I’ve written in these pages many, many times about the importance, and indeed mystery of one’s own name. “God calls each one by name,” the catechism tells us. “Everyone’s name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person.”
This song answers the question of what happens when we become iconoclasts of our own name.
“Thought when I grew up / I would be the same as the ones who gave me my last name.” This name is her identity; it is who she truly is. In fact, when she was younger, she specifically rejected the very life that she’s now living. This is, sadly, a soul that has been sown among the thorns. This small soul may truly have claimed “I’m living my life so I go to heaven” before the thorns came.
I’m reminded of the sadness of Gollum, who has forgotten (or forsaken) his name and declares, “Poor, poor Sméagol, he went away long ago…and he’s lost now.”
What are the thorns that grew up and choked this soul? We are told in the song’s title: “What other people say.” Why would to “care more about what other people say” be so utterly disastrous? Because, in this case, they are the iconoclasts, inviting the hearer to destroy their name and their identity.
Mother Natalia, a nun of Christ the Bridegroom monastery, notes that immediately before Jesus undergoes his fast of 40 days in the desert, He hears, “This is my beloved Son.” And so Satan’s first temptations begin with “If you are the Son of God…” Satan’s first temptation for all of us, going back to Eden, is to make us doubt our identity as beloved sons and daughters of an all-loving Father.
Therein lies our true name.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed thee, and called thee by thy name: thou art mine.”
To each of us by name we are told, “This is my beloved son; this is my beloved daughter. Thou art mine.” But the terrible truth is this: we are free to care more about what other people say our identity is. And the moment we choose to do this, the moment we finally listen to the iconoclasts, is the moment when we choose to exchange our name, and His, for their name—and their name is Legion.
“I used to not take chances with God’s name / But it’s been so long since I last prayed.”
When one is living in a state of grace, there is a real and true mystical union between the soul and God. Again, the catechism tells us that “To pray “Jesus” is to invoke him and to call him within us. His name is the only one that contains the presence it signifies.” To not “take a chance” with His name means that we are aware of His presence within us, and we dare not invoke His name outside of prayer, and thereby recognition of this mystical union. His name then, when said with love by one in a state of grace, signifies His presence, and thereby this union. As this is a union of persons, it is mysteriously true, then, that the Holy name spoken by the grace-filled soul also signifies the person themselves, since they belong to this union. St. Patrick recalls this union in his lorica, “Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left…”
To complete the destruction of our name, it is necessary then to abandon the Holy Name. Indeed, not to simply refuse to say the Name, but rather to utter God’s Name outside of prayer as a kind of dreadful renunciation of this divine union.
In the end, the thorns of “caring more what other people say” that have choked the soul are finally, brutally, placed upon Our Savior’s head.
Demi Lovato has led a very troubled life, to put it mildly. Since I first heard this song, I have invoked God’s name in prayer, on her behalf. I would ask you to do the same. There’s no heart that is so hard, that it cannot be changed. Of the few lyrics that give hope, there is this: “And now I’m all messed up and my heart’s changed.” Knowing that your heart has become hardened is a first step; perhaps the first step to removing a single thorn from His crown.
After Gollum said “Poor, poor Sméagol, he went away long ago…and he’s lost now.” Frodo replied, “Perhaps we’ll find him again, if you come with us.”
Perhaps Demetria Devonne Lovato will find herself if she listens to Who is calling her by name.
Perhaps she’ll remember once again the One Who gave her name to her.
Perhaps she’ll remember that she is called to union with the Divine One; that is her true name.
“This is my beloved daughter.”
Devonne means “divine.”
That is her true name.
It always was.
