Few of us reach for our Swiss army knife when we simply want to cut something. Aristotle asserts that nature is not like the Delphic smiths, makers of the original Swiss army knife, “a single knife for all kinds of use,” a knife with which, clearly, he was not impressed. Rather, nature crafts things such that the primary ordination of the thing is not obscured or hindered by other tasks or purposes.
He says this when discussing the nature of woman. Nature has crafted woman in view of motherhood, and anything else—and there certainly is more in the life of a woman—is in a sense secondary or ancillary. It seems to me that this simple if somewhat odd-sounding point has three powerful implications when rightly considered.
First, the reality of motherhood provides a kind of icon or beacon in light of which all women at any stage of life can perceive their astoundingly beautiful identity and calling. Though not all women are or will be biological mothers, the reality of what it is to mother can be sought and achieved by any woman. This leaves no woman behind. This gives inspiration and direction to the formation of girls just as surely as to the life of the elderly, and every woman in between.
Second, to wives and mothers in families this provides a principle by which to deliberate and discern about all that they ‘take on’ in life. Mothering is not one project to integrate with other projects. It is the main principle of integration. It is the dominant and determining note in the harmony of life. Anything that would take away from or undermine mothering does not fit in a mother’s life. What ‘fits’ are precisely those things that in some real way ‘fit’ with mothering.
To be clear, this does not mean that something must be a direct act of mothering in order to fit in a mother’s life. Pursuing lessons in singing or some other art or craft, among countless other examples, is not an act of mothering. ‘How does this fit with being the mother I am called to be’ is the rubric that if at first it seems limiting, is ultimately a delineation that sets one free. Free to be oneself and fulfill one’s calling.
Finally, this approach can offer liberating insight to a mother who feels overwhelmed as a kind of Jack of All Trades. Or indeed, you feel like the proverbial Swiss Army Knife that does many things and none of them very well. But that is not who you are. Yes, you do many things, in some or even most of which you are not an expert. But these are gathered in a project that unifies all these things from above and from within, making them something wholly other. This is a project which you do very well, in which you are the expert; a project far richer than any or all of its parts. This is the incomparable gift of being a mother; a gift that in your receiving it, gives life to all around you. ~ ~ ~
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Nell O’Leary loves reminding people of their gifts and marvelousness. Her current work includes growing community for the Word on Fire Institute, contributing video content for Ascension Presents, promoting Friends of the Bridegroom, and writing content for the National Eucharistic Revival Newsletter. She is an attorney-turned-writer, speaker, editor, and community maker. She has contributed to over a dozen books, edited 40 books and over 3,000 devotional essays, and led thousands of women in finding and building community over the past two decades. She and her husband live with their five children in Saint Paul, Minnesota with lots of chai tea to keep her fueled. Find out more here.
Husband, father, and professor of Philosophy. LifeCraft springs from one conviction: there is an ancient wisdom about how to live the good life in our homes, with our families; and it is worth our time to hearken to it. Let’s rediscover it together. Learn more.
