“When I prize You above all else, delighting in You as my First Love, I’m protected from feeling fragmented. You are the One who completes me, and You’re training me to bring my thoughts back to You whenever they wander from Your Presence. Thank You for Your patient work in me, Lord.”
– Jesus Listens,March 12th
Have you ever been picked last? Or not picked at all? Maybe classmates didn’t choose you for their dodgeball team, or you were never asked to the prom, or you sat out the songs for couples at the roller rink. After two decades of living sober and following Jesus, I’ve learned great news: we can surrender every hurt and offense to Almighty God. Although this type of submission can be difficult, it produces supernatural results.
Years ago, I was a small-market news anchor in Duluth, Minnesota, seeking a big-market job. But someone else was always given the opportunity—an exotic beauty hailing from Albuquerque or a quick-witted southern belle from Texas. I often thought to myself, With so many stunning, aspiring anchors in the industry, why would any news director look my way?
Big breaks eluded me (and my pronounced Midwestern accent…“tooooast, anyone?”). I was always overlooked, and it began to impact my already-faltering faith. It didn’t help that I found it hard to believe God would want anything to do with me. Surely, someone else was holier and more capable than me.
The “why me” wonderings enjoyed a lot of airplay in my troubled headspace, which vacillated between dizzying comedowns after showstopping interviews and plaintive ruminating when the phone went silent.
After I was radically delivered from a reckless lifestyle of blackout binge drinking, I quickly replaced my debauchery with a fresh idol: my husband. God was displeased by this, and as my husband and I trudged the lonely road toward marriage restoration, I came to understand the futility in putting my full, absolute trust in people. During that dark time, the Jesus Calling devotional offered a fountain of healing, pouring life into my weary, downtrodden soul.
It might sound surprising, but kicking alcohol was a cakewalk compared to giving up my need for the applause of others. “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant,” the apostle Paul tells the Galatians (1:10 NLT). I desperately wanted to emulate this wise apostle, but it took a long, burdensome journey for me to break up with the trappings of comparison, especially when it came to social media.
Though I was trying to kick my addiction to praise, dry spells at work threatened my resolve. When my show, The Hope Report, wasn’t racking up subscribers and only internet trolls were commenting on it, the fragility of my faith suddenly smacked me in the face. I realized I’d been living in extremes, which is common among addicts. One minute I’d feel bolstered by my proximity to renowned influencers, and the next minute I’d be paralyzed by doubt.
But in times when I felt down, and in all times, God knew what He was doing. Having been skipped over for that big news break kept me planted in my hometown, where I went on to meet my husband. And though our marital breakdown seemed like a big mess of our own making, God faithfully brought us through and it drew us closer to each other and to Him. Maybe being picked last actually had its perks.
My shift in perspective exposed a hapless little human bandied about by every slight, rejection, and closed door. The book of James reads, “When you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6–8). I was slowly breaking free from the stress and anxiety of unpredictability!
Like the proverbial addict I once was, I found a new “drug” in getting a spin or spotlight on some influencer’s stage. Astonished by this revelation, I quietly prayed and listened for the still small voice of the Holy Spirit and wept as I encountered the Father’s love, care, and attention to His children.
God loves our quirks and complexes and celebrates our unique nature. What’s truly amazing is His ability to smooth out character flaws while masterfully preserving the precious core of our identities—identities of His own design. Blinded by my efforts to shape myself into the person the world told me to be, I’d lost sight of this truth. After my epiphany, I started to embrace the very things about me that I long believed were weird, awkward, or unpleasant to the world.
To seek or rely on the validation of others is a draining, unbiblical slog. God doesn’t wish for us to become some other version of ourselves, though fully yielding to Him makes us perfectly His. He’s simply looking for open, surrendered hearts. Surrendered life, supernatural results!
Being last picked—or sometimes never picked—teaches patience, resilience, and faith. And ultimately, the only team that matters is Team Jesus, where eternal prizes abound for every believer, even the most mundane of souls.
About The Author
Melissa Huray has dedicated nearly two decades to helping people find restoration through the power of Jesus Christ. Radically freed from alcohol, cigarettes, and stimulants in 2003, Melissa is an addiction counselor with a master’s degree in physiology. She spent twelve years counseling addicts in intensive outpatient treatment programs before accepting the position of executive director at the Lindell Recovery Network.
Melissa is also an Emmy-award-winning news reporter and anchor, having appeared on television programs such as His Glory Ministry and CBS Minnesota’s WCCO-TV. She is the host of The Hope Report podcast and a regular guest on Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast.
Her many writing pieces include articles for Charisma Media, Living North magazine, and Steve Bannon’s War Room. She is also the author of her memoir titled Blackout to Blessing.
A faithful follower of Jesus Christ, Melissa enjoys reading, running, wordsmithing, and singing—both karaoke and as a member of two musical groups: her church worship team and the City of Lakes women’s Barbershop chorus. Melissa lives in the Twin Cities suburb of Lakeville, Minnesota, with her husband, Mike, and has three daughters.
Get Melissa’s book, Radical Freedom, here: RadicalFreedom
