“I can walk through the darkest days with Joy in my heart because I know that the Light of Your Presenceisstill shining on me.”
– Jesus Listens Prayers for Advent
Our lives are a series of challenges and benchmarks, with all sorts of lessons waiting to be scooped up along the way. There are few life events as heart-wrenching as splitting from someone you envisioned spending the rest of your life with. In today’s world, with all of the distractions, game-playing, and lack of social courtesy, romantic disappointment is an all-too-common occurrence.
I’ve been there myself. The pain and symptoms of loss and dejection that wash over you—it feels like that hurt will never go away. Fortunately, that too will pass. And youalready possess some of the tools to start moving towards a healthier place today.
Here are three tips for recovering from heartbreak going forward.
1. Recognize that soul ties impact your emotional state.
What is a soul tie? A soul tie is an intense spiritual connection between two people. They are the result of powerful, shared experiences between individuals. Romantic encounters are one of the more common producers of soul ties, but they may also be present among family members, close friends, and anyone who participates in emotionally-charged, memorable events with someone else—like fraternity and sorority members or military veterans. When those ties are created, a relationship is established that amplifies the impact of the emotions, thoughts, and feelings pertaining to that person. The same way adding salt and pepper to food can enhance the latent flavor profile of what you’re eating, spiritual ties will affect your in-the-moment experience.
Detaching—physically and mentally—from a person you share a soul tie with can be extremely painful. You are removing a piece of your existence that once played a memorable role in your life—it’s perfectly reasonable to experience some separation anxiety when the reality of what is happening hits you. The key to establishing a physical and mental environment that leaves you in a better place is recognizing what you are dealing with.
Think about how much time you spent with your romantic partner over the months. Remember how often you said you were made for each other and that you loved each other? There is power in the tongue, and you have spoken so many bonds into existence. Proverbs 6:2 NIV says, “You have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth.” Those will not go away overnight, and that is why the spiritual bond is so strong. It has to be dissolved before you can be rid of the thoughts and emotions that are related.
2. Sever all connections to your former partner.
The healing process will be painful, but you will get through it. Ignore the inner pleas to do anything to reestablish contact with your former partner. You do not want to disrupt either of your healing processes—you’re not the only one involved here, it’s entirely possible your former partner is hurting as well—and you need to be doing everything you can, no matter how sad or preoccupied you might feel, tokeep distance between you two.
When the pain you are enduring feels unbearable, that’s an indication that you are extremely vulnerable to being derailed by your emotions. The answers to your predicament are time, full submission to God, and praying for the dissolution of soul ties.
Declare with your mouth that you are freed: “In Jesus’s name, any soul ties between us are destroyed. I will attach myself to the people you want me to bond with going forward.” Life is in the power of the tongue.
And do not be afraid to talk with others you can trust, those who can lend you support as well as even-handed wisdom about the mistakes you both made along the way. There is safety in a multitude of counselors and the actual act of laying your mind and heart bare can be as soothing as it is edifying. Friends, family, mentors—they can all be invaluable for keeping you company and establishing a great foundation for moving your life forward.
3. Complete obedience to God is your ticket to avoiding future heartache.
Matthew 6:33 NIV says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” There is only one ultimate Savior walking around, and you are not Him. Lean on God by reading the Word and communing with other believers. Fill your time with activities that you enjoy or align with what propel you towards your goals. Understand that the pain and discomfort you are going through is only temporary, and that God always has something better for you on the horizon. You just need to pursue Him with all of your heart.
About The Author
Kene Erike helps Christians find godly husbands and wives. His organization, K.E. Consulting, provides the tools for building connections, overcoming trauma, and achieving your potential. Subscribe to the JTTG Newsletter to receive more content on relationships and self-improvement: http://eepurl.com/q-KKv