Conflict is always an opportunity to give God glory in the way you respond. Conflict comes. It comes as a mom, coworker, sister, single person, senior, or teenager. It always comes. The better we get at handling conflict, the fewer opportunities Satan has to create division in our lives. If you are battling conflict today, check out these effective steps on how to resolve conflict!
The ways we treat others, even when they may seem unlovable, shines the light of Jesus to others. It gives others hope. When conflict happens in our lives, there are several things we must do.
Step 1: Consider the “why”. Understanding why conflict may be present helps us in considering how others may be feeling. It will make it easier for us to respond in love. There are many reasons for the “why”. Below are a few examples:
- Insecurity – Am I insecure about something in this relationship or situation? Is the other party? How can I work towards making myself/them more secure?
- Misunderstanding – Do I understand fully what is being asked of me?
- Satan – Is Satan at work trying to cause division in our relationship?
- Exhaustion – Am I simply exhausted? Is the other party? Are they doing too much? Working long hours? Balancing a lot of demands?
Step 2: Wait a minimum of 48 hours for any response. (Prov. 15:18) Don’t immediately take a problem to the person you are hurt/upset with. Allow for time to pray that the Lord would give you wisdom and the right words to say. Sometimes waiting will make the problem seem so much smaller.
Step 3: Issue the same grace you want from others. (Eph. 4:3) It is important that we forgive quickly and give grace to those who may have hurt us with their words or actions. This is how we want to be treated.
Step 4: Take your offense directly to them. (Matt. 18:15) You must talk directly to the person about the situation. Do not talk to others. This only makes the problem worse. When you talk to them, it should be your goal to want to resolve the situation. You cannot want to simply have the last word or be right. (Note: You do not get to judge someone else’s heart. That’s God role. We only have control over our own).
Step 5: Speak life. (Prov. 18:21) You cannot speak negatively about a situation or a person and prevent it from growing. (Note: Take time to pray for your heart to mend and for their hardships that may be unknown to you.)
Step 6: Battle your thoughts. (Phil. 4:8) Meditate of God’s truth not what happened or what she said. It is very important that we do not continually replay in our minds what was said or done to us. That only makes the problem grow bigger. However, when we focus on God, His word, and His truth about us, the problem gets smaller.
Step 7: Bring the problem to an authority figure (mom, teacher, boss, coach) after all previous steps have been followed. (Note: Exceptions to this include abuse or dangerous situations).